


Dad Jokes

by xxoldlunchtop



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Bad Jokes, F/M, May-December Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2018-01-01 10:52:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxoldlunchtop/pseuds/xxoldlunchtop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dad jokes are never sexy. No exceptions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dad Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> In honor of the dad joke fad on tumblr. Enjoy~

Roxy knew that, someday, she would have to come to terms with the fact that she was having sex with her best friend’s father. Sometimes, when they were curled up together in bed, or when they were sharing a glass of wine after dinner, he would get this look in his eye that told Roxy he was just as apprehensive as she was. Sometimes Roxy thought it might be best to just cut off the whole affair completely, find someone her own age, and pretend it never happened. It was just too much pressure, all that sneaking around. It would never work out for them in the long run.

But he was beautiful, smart, and kind, so much sweeter than any of the boys she knew. So for now, while Jane was away at college, Roxy would partake in her guilty pleasure. 

And what a pleasure it was, walking out of the bathroom to find Mister Crocker, shirtless and handsome like a black-and-white movie star, sprawled out on his bed watching reruns of Night Court. He looked tired, Roxy thought; he must have had a rough day at the office.

He probably deserved a reward for all of his hard work.

With a plan of seduction unfolding in her head, Roxy untied her bathrobe, allowing it to pool around her feet on the floor. Completely naked, she joined her lover on the bed. He immediately lost interest in the television – she had a feeling he would- and pulled her in for a kiss.

Sometimes the simplest plans were the most affective. 

“Mmm…” Roxy hummed, pulling back before either of them wanted the kiss to end – always leave them wanting more. “I’m horny…” 

Smiling, Mister Crocker reached out to stroke her still damp hair. Roxy shivered when she felt the back of his knuckles skate across her skin, tucking her blonde locks behind her ear.

“Hello, horny,” he replied, smirking that goofy smirk that Roxy had come to love. The one that meant he was up to something. “I’m Dad.”

“Oh my god,” Roxy groaned, shoving a pillow in his face. She could hear his muffled laughter through the fabric. His voice was deep and smooth, but he laughed with the zeal of a child. 

Roxy loved that sound. Hearing Mister Crocker laugh was totally worth the mood kill. And when she moved the pillow away and saw that glint in his eyes – those beautiful blue eyes, that she couldn’t look at for too long without thinking of Jane – she knew she would get exactly what she wanted soon enough.

And it would be worth the wait.

“I’m so done with you,” she said, giggling along with him as she curled up in his arms. Mister Crocker held her tightly, his warm hands gently caressing her back. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, pressing a kiss into her hair. “I couldn’t help myself, you make it so easy sometimes.”

“S’okay…” Roxy mumbled, hugging him back. She took a deep breath, taking in everything about him. The way his coarse chest hair felt against her face. The way he held her, with strong arms and gentle touches. The way he smelled – like fatherly aftershave and pipe tobacco. Roxy adored that smell.

She adored him. Corny jokes and all.


End file.
